DROPPING THE CHASE - Second Realization

For years, I thought that life would be happier if we please the people around us- and so I did. I even thought that pleasing new acquaintances can bring me possibilities for lifelong friendships – so I did. I was partly wrong and partly right. I find happiness in seeing people dear to me comfortable because they have me around. I am happy helping. I am happy reaching out. I often pretend to be okay whenever a friend would approach me for help, when in fact I am also screaming inside to release some anxiety. I often chase for attention. I would always try to check on everyone just to see if their doing okay. I guess I’ve done too much. Too much that I’m thinking these people see me as an element of annoyance already.

I am done pleasing others.

But I will never be done looking out to those people who fill my book with great stories.

Unlike before, I would look after them from a far. The chase for attention and simple replies shall end here, right at this very post. It’s true when they say that we often appreciate others in moments of their absence. I hope to justify this cliché this year. Will I ever create a need? I guess there’s a thin border line between being positive and friendly and annoying and attention deficiency. And I refrain to embrace the latter.

I realize people will not always need our help. Sometimes, they need silence and space. Sometimes, they need to build strength and solve their dilemmas on their own. Unfortunately, sometimes some people would be happier without us in their lives. And sometimes, we just have to live with it and hope that one inevitable day; they will come back seeking not for our help but for a smile, a talk, and a hug.