Saturday, May 24, 2008

Junior 101


I don’t want to sound geeky in this post but Im feeling a little novel to do an article about this segment that appeared on Men’s Health Magazine (May 2008 edition) about 8 worst things we males can possibly do to our privates. Yes everyone, the tool is not as invincible as you thought it was. The junior needs some TLC too you know? So start caring for your well-kept treasure to do away from any regrets of pain (or worst, disease) that can possibly come from lame excuses of not taking care of it. To start off, here now are 8 most common mistakes:

Mistake # 1
Forcing down what’s gone up.
Putting downward pressure on an erect penis strains the two long tendons that attach your penis to your pubic bone which provide leverage for it to erect. If these tendons are stretched too far, it will lost the ability to produce right erection which will lead to a downward erection instead of up.
Mistake # 2
Engaging it to an intercourse while it’s not yet ready.

Trying to penetrate a junior that is not fully “up” might cause bending and buckling injuries. Ouch! This can also cause a penis that permanently bends, sometimes in a painful manner.
Mistake # 3
Quick unzipping!
This is actually quite lame to be reminded about. I know you get the picture of having sharp teeth into the member right? Oh pain!
Mistake # 4
Using anything your eyes can reach.

Listen up sexual do-it-yourselfers! Not all slimy and creamy liquids are meant for “lathering” or “polishing” the tool. Use some inch of your brain to discern which can actually cause you harm such as irritation and worst, infection or swelling.
Mistake # 5
Penile fracture

In this day and age of having high profile talks about sex and everything, people can’t help but be adventurous on the deed. Too much pressure can actually cause lots of possible fracture to the tool, so easy lang.
Mistake # 6
Natural harms
The sun: exposing the junior in the sun may make its skin thicker and scaly. Not too pleasant right?
Poison plants: Yes, doing it in the farm or garden is not recommended, unless of course you want to scratch your crotch in public.
Animal teeth: Animals aim for the crotch when being attacked or when they feel unsecured. This is actually a clue for you if in case you plan to irritate or infest an animal.
Mistake # 7
Undergoing Enlargement Procedures

We heard a lot about the dangers of surgical operations. Lengthening operations require inserting the suspensory ligaments in the abdomen. This can cause wobblier erections that can possible cause fracture and injuries. So, unless you have a thumb-like size, stay away from the stencils.
Mistake # 8
Inserting it where it doesn’t belong

Now in case the statement above is not descriptive enough, it practically tell you to refrain from having an intercourse with a paid “do” worker or any animal you find sexy. Please, be human enough sir.
Now, I read this news from some paper where the wife sliced off her husband’s thingy after being annoyed when the husband won’t stop asking for sex. The very sad part is that the detached junior was flushed in the toilet. Moral of the story is to take care of our junior not just with TLC but with EQ too.
Extracted from
Men’s Health 2008
(The 8 Worst Things You can do to Your Privates)
Health Segment (pp 106-107)

1 comments:

danieljr said...

ooh.. nice entry.. made me appreciate my junior even more. haha :D